You come together in the first flush of romance, but drift apart as things get comfortable. Sometimes there can be such a thing as too much space. Instead of starting all over again with someone new, why not restart what you have. Here’s how to do it:
1. Ask your friends what they like about your partner: By now, your eyes glaze over when she starts talking and you roll your eyes when he cracks the same joke again. Looking at your partner through someone else’s eyes may help you appreciate what you have. Discuss your partner in a positive light with your friends: Mention something thoughtful (s)he did and they might share other sensitivities you tend to overlook. This also sparks off a teeny matchstick of jealousy and you’ll start appreciating what you have when you see others who want it. Caution: Steer away from a rant. You want to focus on the good bits.
2. Find the celebrity double: Connecting your girl/guy to a famous personality will help turn up the heat. Which celebrity do they resemble the most? Tell her she has Deepika Padukone’s legs, or him that he has John Abraham’s tush. The fact that you still find him/her desirable is a big confidence boost for your partner. Remember to make the connection and compliment genuine, though; your partner will be able to tell an insincere connect immediately.
3. Start a new hobby together: Learning something new together will infuse playfulness and an excitement you can carry home. Pick up a partner activity like a couple cooking class or a dance session. Laugh at each other’s mistakes and share the triumphs. If something has been on your to-do list for a while, tackle it together and see the results.
4. Set a huge goal: People with something to work towards are more likely to stay together. The act of dreaming something big, planning for it and then working towards it will bring you closer as shared dreams do. Sit together and discuss what your big dreams are — buying the perfect house or travelling the world, and then talk about all the fun you are going to have getting there.
5. Break the rule: Over time, both of you have drawn up a list of Dos and Don’ts that have straitjacketed your time together. Once in a while, break the rules — put your feet up on the table and don’t put your shoes away. This will encourage him or her to do the same, open communication and help you relax around each other. Who knows where that will lead.
6. Get crazy together: Doing something completely out of character will help you take yourselves lightly and shed resentment. It has to be exiting, forbidden and downright irrational so that you laugh out aloud. Go on a trip together with no clothes but the ones on your back; or make out in a restaurant loo. Irreverence is so sexy.